KbtBB Recreated - Sakiko and Soryu - Short Story 1 - Overwrite
by Cassakane
Summary: Sakiko is surprised and thrilled when Soryu starts giving her directions, but will she be able to handle it?
1. Interest

**Author's Note:** _This short story is a spinoff from my KbtBB series. It is meant to be read after chapter 4 of Chisato + Mamoru. Like the short story for Olivia + Eisuke (Punishment), it is meant to take Sakiko through what would be a long evolution of her relationship with Soryu in a few smutty chapters. _

_If you'd like to read this short story without reading the books, here is some info to help things make sense:_

_Due to a difficult childhood, Sakiko uses sex to escape negative thoughts, feelings, and memories. So, she's something of a slut (although I don't like that word). She has always avoided deep relationships with people, even friendships. She and Soryu are in love and their relationship is tricky. Sakiko often freaks out and has to run away. She has also made it clear to Soryu that at some point she will be sleeping with other people. Soryu is okay with an open relationship. He loves Sakiko for who she is and he's determined to be the man that she needs. But, of course, he would prefer it if she wasn't running away all the time and he really doesn't want to have to share her. Sakiko no longer works in the casino. She's an amazing card dealer and is now the manager and dealer for the underground midnight poker game. _

_As for Soryu, before Sakiko he had only had sex once and that was when he was in a freshman in college. He isn't experienced with sex or with relationships._

_It may not be necessary, but since they're in the story I'll update some of the other characters. Olivia is Eisuke's girlfriend. She's recently started managing the jewelry store in the hotel. Chisato has been promoted to concierge and has been working on some investigations with Mamoru. Inui is working with Sakiko to learn to manage the Ice Dragons headquarters since he couldn't handle being a yakuza. _

_Yes, I do feel bad for what I've done to Soryu. I'm crying inside all the time. He deserved an angel and he got a little demon._

"You got this?" I asked Inui. It was after lunch and the two of us were supervising and pitching in to help the two guys who were cleaning up after the meal.  
"Yeah, of course," he replied, waving me towards the door. He was determined to prove that he could do everything on his own. "You go ahead."  
"Thanks. I'll be back later to help prep for dinner," I said with a smile and headed towards Soryu's office. I'd spent the last two nights at my apartment - _by myself_ \- and my pussy was starting to complain about being deprived. Soryu and Kyoichiro had left lunch early to make a conference call. I was hoping that they'd finished their business and Soryu would be free to spend a little time with me.  
"Come in."  
I opened the door, popped my head into Soryu's office and looked around. He was alone in the room, sitting at his desk using his shoulder to hold the phone to his ear while he typed on his computer. He gave me a smile and a little nod, motioning me to come in with a little wave of his hand.  
I smiled back at him and went to flop down on the couch to the right of his desk. His conversation was boring, stuff about collecting protection money in Osaka and some petty gang that was trying to move in on their territory. I thought about kneeling down between his legs and giving him a blowjob while he was on the phone, but I'd already learned that he didn't like to be distracted with sex when he was working. He could be very straight-laced and serious, which was sometimes cute and sometimes annoying. Since he was busy, my only option was to pull out my phone and kill some time on social media.  
"You're not going back to the Tres Spades this afternoon?" he asked after he hung up the phone.  
"No. We pretty much finished everything yesterday. Hayashino is taking care of the rest of it today. Look at this, Olivia's going to be selling spade shaped jewelry in her shop," I said, holding up my screen to show him. "I'm going to buy the necklace for sure."  
"That's nice. Do you still have those pictures on your phone?" he asked. "The ones that you showed me at the airport when we were waiting for Mei?"  
"Uh, yeah." Why was he asking about those pictures? Was he going to ask me to delete them since there were other men in them? I started to feel itchy and my defenses started to rise. I wouldn't be able to take it if he tried to tell me what to do. "I don't exactly remember which ones I showed you. I was tied up in them, right? Is that the sort of thing you're looking for?"  
"I want you to send me all of them," he said. "Any pictures of you naked or having sex."  
"Hmm. That's a lot of pictures," I scrolled through my picture gallery while I wondered what his intentions were. Was he going to go through them and select ones that he wanted me to delete or had he grown so much in his sexuality that he wanted to get off on pics of me, even ones with other men? He'd been suppressing his sexuality for way too long, maybe his inner perv was starting to come out. If that was the case, I had no problem indulging him. "I think I need to download an app to make the transfer easier."  
"You have that many pictures? I didn't realize you liked taking pictures so much," he said.  
"I went through a phase when I got my first smartphone," I explained. "After that I just did it here and there. Download this app and I'll send you the pics. It's called Share Some Snaps."  
"Yeah, no problem," he replied and picked up his phone to get the app.  
"If I'm sending you all these pics you should send me some dick pics," I said with a little laugh. "That would be totally hot."  
"I have no interest in taking pictures of my own junk," he said, too serious as usual. "If you want them, take them yourself. What will you do with pictures of my dick anyway?"  
"Duh. Look at them," I said with a cheesy smile to tease him. "Like whenever I'm bored. Say I'm in a taxi or waiting at the dentist's office or something. It would be nice to look at pics of your dick."  
"You can't be serious," he said. "If you look at pictures like that in public someone else might see. _Children_ might see."  
"Good point. Your monster dick would definitely traumatize children and old ladies," I said with a laugh. I scrolled through my pics, selecting the ones to send to him. "Are you really sure that you want all of these?"  
"Yes, I want all of them. Don't hold anything back," he answered.  
I selected every picture, even the nastiest ones. I didn't know why he wanted them but I decided not to ask him for his reasons. I'd give him the pictures and wait to see what he did with them. It was time to let him grow and explore on his own a little bit.  
"Looking at all of these pics and thinking about your dick is making me wet," I said, squirming on the couch. "Let's go upstairs when I'm finished with this."  
"I have to leave for a meeting in ten minutes." I started to pout but he continued, his voice turning low and commanding. "Take off your dress and show me how you get yourself off."  
'_What the fuck? What?!'_ His words shivered over my skin and perked up my nipples, but my mind was still trying to catch up. Soryu was saying this? _Soryu?_ He was always so careful around me. He did his best to make sure that he didn't trigger any of my issues. He tended to be gentle and tender and usually followed my lead, only getting forceful when I asked for it.  
Now he was telling me what to do? And even asking me to masturbate in front of him? Had he secretly been watching porn to get ideas? My student was graduating to the next grade. It looked like things were going to get a lot more interesting.  
"Is that what you want?" I asked, giving him a sexy smile as I stood up off of the couch and headed to the door to lock it.  
"Don't bother with that," his voice stopped me before I reached the door. "Just take off your clothes."  
I turned to face him. The door didn't really need to be locked. No one came in without knocking, but it still added an element of tension to the situation. My heart was pounding in my chest as I reached for the hem of my dress and pulled it over my head. What was it about this man and his dark eyes that made everything more exciting and intense than it would be with any other man? This shouldn't be so thrilling that I was already feeling breathless and flushing with heat as I took off my bra and panties.  
I reached a hand up to pluck at a nipple. I watched him watching my fingers as I twisted and pinched it until my pussy began to throb and my clit twinged. "Did I ever tell you that I like to think of you when I'm getting myself off? And I'm not just talking about now. I'm mean before I even met you, when I was still working in the casino."  
I knew that I'd never told Soryu about the fantasies that I used to have. I'd been saving the knowledge to share with him at the right time. I sucked a couple of fingers into my mouth to get them wet and then traced circles around my other nipple. His eyes were glued to me, watching my every move.  
"I always loved it when you came into the casino. You were so gorgeous and powerful with a hint of danger. I wanted you so bad I couldn't stand it. If you'd crooked your finger at me, I would have followed you anywhere."  
I palmed my breasts, massaging them before I returned to my nipples, pinching them hard and stretching them away from my body, towards Soryu. I was starting to feel breathless and sweaty. I could feel juice dripping from my pussy. It was a huge turn on to have him watch me while I touched myself. I started letting gasps and moans fall from my lips whenever desire and pleasure peaked inside of me. "I can't tell you how many times I left my shift with a wet pussy because you'd been there that night. I'd go back to the dorms and lay into myself, picturing you the whole time."  
I walked over and sat on the couch, skimming my hands over my stomach and then back up to flick and twist my nipples again. "I loved to imagine you following me into a private poker room. You'd push me down on the table and spread my legs." I slid my hands down my body and opened my thighs for him. "You'd fuck me hard, not asking permission or giving any apologies. It would make me so hot just fantasizing about you fucking me. But having you for real is so much better than I ever dreamed."  
I slid a hand down and slipped a finger between my wet lips, spreading them wide to give him a good view of my pussy. My thumb brushed over my clit and I moaned, my hips jerking forward as a bolt of electricity shot through me. I closed my eyes against the feeling and slowly caressed my fingers over my outer lips, trying to calm myself down. "You've got me so excited that I could get off in just a few seconds," I said.  
I heard his chair creak and opened my eyes to see him coming to stand in front of me. "Do it," he commanded. "Let me see you come."  
He crouched down to get a better view as I slid my fingers to my clit and began drawing tight circles around it. I watched him watching me. I was so aroused that my hips jerked with each stroke. My clit was so swollen it felt raw, every tiny touch sent intense waves of pleasure through my aching pussy and echoed over my body. With a few quick strokes over the slippery little nub I came, biting my lower lip to hold back my moans so that the other guys in the house wouldn't hear them.  
"Guess I'm going to be late for my meeting," Soryu said and reached down to grab me by the upper arms and pull me up off the couch. He led me over to his desk and bent me over its surface. I could hear the sounds of him unfastening his belt and pants. Anticipation rolled over me in a wave of heat as I settled into a good position to get fucked. His hands gripped my asscheeks and massaged firmly before slipping down to stroke the inside of my thighs.  
"No permission or apologies," he said and I felt the head of his cock pushing at my entrance. "I guess that means no foreplay."  
"No foreplay necessary when I'm already this hot." I pushed back on him, taking him in greedily, moaning as his thick length stretched my walls. I decided that I didn't care who heard my cries of passion, it wasn't like they'd never heard it before. My clit was throbbing and my entire body was begging for him. I felt his hands caress over my back, sending tingles all through me as they gently explored down my spine, over my ribcage and dipped into the small of my back.  
Then he grabbed my hips and thrust his cock the rest of the way into me, hard and fast. He bumped into my cervix and I cried out loudly with pleasure as my pussy clenched around him, begging for more. I braced myself on the desk and moved with him, accepting every deep plunge with a cry or a moan.  
I loved his cock. It was the biggest I'd ever had, and I'd fucked a lot of guys. It filled me up completely, pushed at the edges of my sanity and always made me feel as if I was going to explode. My body was throbbing and tensing with pleasure as he fucked me hard, his hands rough on my hips and his body slamming into me with force.  
"_Soryu!"_ I cried as my legs began to tremble and everything in me focused in and bore down on his shaft. He responded by thrusting harder, pushing me over the edge into an orgasm and then burying himself deep in my pussy to release his seed.  
As I lay gasping on the desk he leaned forward and dropped several kisses on my shoulder. "You're fucking amazing," he breathed in my ear. "I've got to go, but I want you again tonight. Be at my apartment by eight."  
My body was overly relaxed, twitching in the aftermath of orgasm and moving slow. By the time I pushed myself up off of the desk and turned around, he'd fastened his pants and was at the door. "I'm locking this," he said with a smile before he closed the door behind him.  
I walked over and collapsed on the couch. I massaged my breasts lightly, still riding the waves of the orgasm. Soryu had surprised me and I was feeling more than a little smug. My cautious student was showing more of his true self and I couldn't be happier.  
I knew that Soryu was always so careful with me because of my relationship issues. I knew that it was his way of taking care of me and keeping me by his side. He wanted to envelope me in a gentle love that at times just made me feel smothered. I knew he had a forceful side to him, a rough and greedy side. Just as he was working to help me settle into our relationship, he needed to settle in, too. He needed to trust that he could show me his darker side and I wouldn't be scared away.  
It looked like he may have begun to reach that point. Of course, the quickie on the desk could have been in response to the fantasy that I'd shared - he never hesitated to get a little rougher when I asked him to - but I was hoping that this was just a taste of things to come.


	2. Vulnerability

I let myself into Soryu's apartment at 7:30. I'd already received a text telling me that he'd be late, but I wanted to take my time to get myself ready for him. Usually being told something like, '_Be at my apartment at eight,' _would have pissed me off and freaked me out to the point that I would _for sure_ not have shown up. I was so on edge about being trapped in a relationship that Soryu was normally very gentle and passive. He didn't put pressure on me and he didn't tell me what to do. He always made sure that he gave me the space that I needed.  
But those whispered words had repeated themselves over and over again in my head all day. He'd taken a step forward in his sexual growth by asking me to get myself off in front of him. He'd been forceful when he'd fucked me on the desk. He had me wondering what was coming next and wanting more. I also wanted to reward him for being so bold that afternoon. He definitely deserved a gold star for his performance.  
I started with a shower and then fixed my hair and applied some light makeup. All the while wondering what I should wear. In the end I decided that meeting him at the door wearing something too sexy would take the attention off of him and his plans. I wanted the night to be all about Soryu and whatever it was that he wanted to do. So I chose a short black dress and skipped the bra but put on a lacy black thong. I loved it when he slipped his fingers into my panties to play with my pussy. It was one of my favorite things.  
After getting dressed I set some candles around the bedroom and pulled the bedspread off the bed. By this time it was past 8:30 and there was still no sign or word from Soryu. I went into the kitchen, put on an apron and made some rice balls and rolled eggs. I knew that he would appreciate a midnight snack. By the time I was finished with the food it was almost 9:30 and I was starting to get antsy. There was nothing else I could do to prepare and I was too excited to occupy myself with the tv or my phone.  
Thankfully, before I had time to start going crazy, I heard the front door open and Soryu called, "I'm home."  
I hurried out to the front door. He was wearing his typical suit and a long coat, snowflakes were melting into his dark hair. He looked perfect, hot and sexy. He smiled at me and I saw the determination in his eyes. It made my stomach feel weightless with nervous anticipation. I was so excited to experience whatever he had planned.  
I took his coat from him, hanging it up while he took off his shoes. When I turned to look up at him he caught my arms in his hands and pushed me against the wall, his mouth descending quickly to capture my lips in a ravenous kiss.  
I sighed with satisfaction into his mouth, pulling him closer and meeting each bold stroke of his tongue. He tasted and smelled delicious and felt so good pressed against me. The desire that had been simmering since this afternoon flared up in my stomach and raced to heat up every cell in my body. I regretted wearing the dress. I wished that I'd met him in just the panties or nothing at all. I wanted my skin bared to his touch. I wanted him to push me down and take me right there on the floor.  
He pulled away from the kiss to skim his lips up my jaw and nuzzle my ear. "Have you been here long?"  
"Long enough that I was about to start going crazy," I said with a little moan, reaching a hand up to stroke the strong column of his neck. "You know I hate to wait."  
"I was having a hard time myself. It's not easy to focus on talk about investments and profits when all I can think about is this." He pulled down the front of my dress and cupped my tits in his hands. I moaned, arching into his touch while he massaged my breasts with gentle squeezes and then dipped down to kiss and lick each nipple.  
When he stood back up I reached for his tie but he batted my hands away. "Let's go to the bedroom."

In the bedroom I turned around to look up at him, expecting to go back into his arms but it was like he'd changed into a different person in the handful of seconds it had taken us to walk to the room. His softly glowing eyes and warm smile were gone. In their place was a firmly set jaw and eyes that sparked with a hot energy.  
I froze as I caught sight of him. My first thought was that I'd done something wrong and he'd discovered it on the way into the bedroom. As my mind raced to review everything I'd done that evening and pick out the mistake he said, "What's your safe word?"  
My heart beat with a big thump as my mind and body tried to switch gears between '_oh shit, what did I do wrong?' _and '_safe word? Things are going to get good!'_ I licked my lips and said, "Beach."  
"Take your clothes off."  
It only took a moment for me to pull off my dress and panties. I watched, my heart pounding, as he walked over to his closet and stripped to the waist. Then he reached into the closet and pulled out a coil of rope.  
I gasped with surprise and felt excitement explode within me, shivering over my skin. I was so happy to see that rope that it was all I could do not to throw myself at him or start bouncing around the room. I controlled myself for him. He was being so very serious, I didn't want to ruin the mood by squealing with delight or gushing about how thrilled I was.  
"Get on the bed."  
I moved automatically in response to the deep command in his voice and went to sit on the bed. He followed close behind holding the rope and a pair of safety shears. I eyed the shears, my pulse jumping eagerly when I saw them. This was not a random whim to tie me up, this was real effort and proper equipment. As he began to work a single-column tie around my left wrist, my assumption was proven. He'd obviously done his homework, read books or watched videos. His movements were quick and sure.  
He worked silently, constructing a single-column tie on my wrists and ankles before instructing me to lie in the center of the bed. He then tied a single-column tie to each of the bed posts and drew the bight down to the ties on my limbs to create a pulley on each corner of the bed. He cinched the pulleys until I was spread eagle and rendered motionless. I watched as he stood at the end of the bed and surveyed his work, heat flushing my skin as I lay open before him.  
I'd been tied up plenty of times before. I'd had a long-term fuck friend who was heavily into shibari. He, his brother and his friend had all tied me up on many occasions, but it had felt completely different from this. Soryu's hands had moved with quick precision over my skin. He had been businesslike and cold, focused on forming the ropes into ties, but his fingers had still felt sweet on my skin. I hadn't been waiting impatiently for the tying to be completed so that we could get to the good stuff, instead I'd been filled with a quiet pleasure. With each loop of the rope, every brush of his fingers, every knot that was tied, I'd felt the connection between us and his power over me growing stronger. By the time he was finished, I was trembling with desire and aching for his touch.  
I watched as he took off his pants and climbed onto the bed wearing only his boxers. Bits of conversation were popping up in my brain. Had he always been interested in shibari? Where did he get this idea? Where did he learn to do this? Had he been practicing? It felt so good. _I _felt so good and normally I would be telling him all about it. But I couldn't speak, my words were drowned in a deluge of feelings, lost amidst a torrent of desire. I looked to him to touch me, to fuck me, to rescue me.  
I took in slow, deep breaths as he positioned himself next to me. I was letting such a simple thing overwhelm me. I needed to remain in control and focus. I'd taught him how to please me and now he had me bound and at his mercy. It was time for me to be paid back for all of my hard work.  
He reached out and ran his finger up my side and over the curve of my breast. A cry escaped my lips, too soon and too loud. It revealed just how hot I was, how much I'd gotten turned on just by being bound by him. I looked at him, expecting to see his eyes glinting with triumph and a smirk on his mouth, but this was Soryu. He wasn't like any other man. His was focused on his hand as he traced over the lines of my breasts, drawing out more cries, not because I wanted to give them to him but because I couldn't hold them back.  
I strained at the ropes that bound me, pressing myself as best as I could into his hands. My thighs were burning. I wanted to squeeze them together to quiet the throbbing in my pussy but I couldn't. I opened by mouth, ready to tell him to fuck me, but before the words could pass my tongue I realized that it would be futile. This would not be a normal fuck. He had my body in his hands and he would do with it as he wished. He hadn't even touched a nipple yet, he wasn't going to fuck me just because I told him to.  
I watched as he circled his fingertip over the smooth white flesh surrounding my nipple before drawing a swirl over the rougher pink skin until he reached the nub in the center. He tapped his finger just on the tip of the nub, rubbed back and forth and then drew tiny circles on it. I bit my lip, not wanting any more moans or cries to escape. They sounded like defeat. I didn't want to give him too much, too fast.  
I'd never thought of myself as weak to sex. I'd thought of myself as hot, sexy, easily aroused, ready to go. It never took long for me to get wet. I always wanted fucked right away. It didn't take ages of foreplay to get me going. But now that Soryu was in control my intense arousal felt like a deficiency. I should have been stronger than this, more in control and blasé about the whole thing. I was the experienced one, the teacher, the mentor. A bit of rope and little titty fondling shouldn't have me feeling desperate.  
His hand moved over to my other breast, cupping its curves while his finger and thumb lightly pinched and tugged at the nipple. His mouth descended to the nipple that his hand had abandoned, his tongue licking hot and wet before drawing it into his mouth and sucking. I stopped trying to fight my moans and instead strained at the ropes, feeling anger mix with my desire, pushing myself towards him as best as I could.  
His teeth scraped over my nipple and then settled in to worry it with gentle bites that became increasingly hard. My pussy clenched, aching for his cock and my clit twitched in the warm wet nest of my lips.  
I gave up. I was far too easy. Not in control and pushing forward like usual, just a weak cunt that needed to be fucked. "That's enough," I said, tugging at my bindings hard, feeling them bite into my skin. "Just fuck me already."  
"Shut your mouth," he said, his voice was casual and held no anger. "If you can't I'll gag you."  
His words shot cold down my spine and hot through my pussy. My mind was shocked and struggling to understand. I was always in control when I fucked. It didn't matter if I was tied up or taking it in all holes. I ran the game and called the shots. I could play at giving up control, but I'd never truly done it.  
I licked my lips and gazed down at the top of Soryu's head. His mouth still played with my nipple and licked over my breast. If I was free, I'd thread my fingers into his hair and pull his head away from me. I'd push him over onto his back, climb onto him and put his cock into my pussy myself. I'd push and pull and I wouldn't take no for an answer.  
His mouth moved to take in my other nipple and I realized that while I was lost in thought my body had been running free. I was letting out a moan with each breath and using the little bit of play in the ropes to rock rhythmically towards him. I clenched my teeth together, biting off my moans, and tried to regain control of myself but it was too late. I was lost, my body had betrayed me. It responded to his every caress and Soryu was not fighting fair.  
He raised up and began strumming his knuckles over my nipples, a move that I had taught him to give me a titty orgasm. I opened my mouth and let out my cries as a biting pleasure gathered in my nipples and radiated throughout my body. I looked at him and found that his eyes were ready to capture mine and hold them as the feelings in my chest built towards a crescendo.  
This was not a fuck. This was something different altogether. This was the opposite of what I had always searched for in a fuck. That mind-numbing diversion that focused everything on the physical and turned off my feelings and my memories. That's why I always stayed in control, why I always pushed forward to another sensation and didn't allow anything to linger.  
Soryu was breaking all of my unspoken rules, pushing past my boundaries. He was laying my emotions bare, stripping away all of my defenses. I could feel the love in his every touch and see it in his eyes. Love and more. Things like cherish and protect and indulge. They fell into me and I had no shield to defend myself with. My own feelings rose up to meet his. My love for him as well as things that I hadn't even known were there, things that I had never looked at or examined. I wanted to nurture him, to support him, to bind him to me.  
I was awash in feelings, both his and mine, and the pleasure in my nipples peaked, casting me into an orgasm that rolled through me, pitching my body the barest bit forward as I once again cursed the ropes that bound me.  
I lay gasping as Soryu's mouth returned to my breasts and his tongue lapped over my skin. I was quaking inside, unable to cope with the emotions that flowed through me like a river. This was really too much. It felt like an invasion of my deepest self, a place that I largely kept hidden even from my own consciousness.  
As his hand trailed down to cup and massage my pussy, I felt tears build in my eyes. I didn't know if I could go on. My emotions were raw, too fresh, too new. I was drowning in them, unable to escape. As his fingers spread my lips and rubbed gently over my clit, my feelings tangled with my physical need and it felt as if my soul itself were reaching up to him. I wanted to hold him in my arms, to pull him close to me, down into the patchwork mix of emotions that was my love for him.  
I almost said my safeword. This was not anything that I had ever wanted from sex. I did not want to be vulnerable. I did not want to feel these emotions. I wanted to keep my deeper feelings tucked onto a shelf, hidden away. I wanted everything to stay casual and shallow. Safe and secure.  
But I had never used my safeword before. I'd never tapped out due to pain or discomfort with any other man. My pride wouldn't allow me to say my safeword and my heart wouldn't allow me to tell him to stop. My heart wanted this. It had been neglected and suppressed. It wanted to draw Soryu deep inside and smother him with the feelings that I'd been holding back.  
He'd taken off his boxers and was settling between my legs. His hands stroked over my thighs and gripped my hips, tugging experimentally, his eyes on the ropes that held me in place. I gasped for air, nearly overwhelmed by how close he was to entering me. I wanted it desperately and I feared it. What would it feel like to have him inside of me when my heart was completely exposed to him?  
He brought himself to my entrance, the head of his cock slipping between my lips and pushing inside. My body was overstimulated, too aroused, hypersensitive. Just his tip entering me and gliding past my lips made me want to scream. And there was nothing that I could do to stop him. Nothing that I _would_ do. I was already splayed before him, more vulnerable than I had ever thought possible. I would not turn back now. I _would not_ give up.  
He pushed further inside of me and my pussy walls flinched around him. My mouth was open in a continuous moan as my body stretched to accommodate his girth. It was too intense, too real, the pleasure in my pussy so sharp that is felt as if it would break me apart. Normally, I would be pushing myself into him, forcing him into me quickly, getting to the orgasm as soon as possible, but Soryu was intent on moving slowly. I felt every millimeter of my body opening up to accept him, shivering as he slid deeper, stroking my sensitive interior with his rock hard cock.  
His slow entrance seemed to last forever. By the time he pressed against my cervix I was whimpering with need and straining towards him. Fully seated, he cupped the back of my head in his palm and kissed me, his lips and tongue gently questing, full of love and tenderness. I had never felt so close to him. He was everywhere. He was everything that I could see, taste, smell and feel. He was buried so deep inside of me, it felt as if he was touching my heart.  
I sobbed as I felt it, the bright warmth of his love tangling with mine, skittish and needy. He enveloped me, he filled me, he took all of me into his embrace. His lips left mine and trailed over my cheek before he rose up on his hands and began making love to me. His cock gently thrusting, hot and slick, sliding slow then building in speed and force as I lost touch with everything except the feel of him moving inside of me.  
Orgasms came one after another, building and crashing as I lay beneath him open and defenseless. My mind was clouded, overcome with passion and the feel of him moving inside of me. I couldn't think, I could only feel. His warmth, his love, his body, filling me, merging with me, finding my most secret places, binding to me. I had no true knowledge of these things that I always ran from - my emotions, my heart, my soul - and no way to protect them once my walls were breached. He plundered me, gathering my emotions and sowing his within me. I would never be free of him.  
I felt him thrusting into me hard and spilling his seed. It signalled the end but I was still lost in waves of emotion that crashed in me even as my body continued to spasm and tremble with the aftermath of my orgasms. I lay boneless beneath him, my body covered in a mixture of my sweat and his, as he dropped kisses on my lips, my cheeks, my neck and my chest.  
He moved to release me from the bindings, he hands working quickly to free me. First one hand and then the other. When I was freed I had to touch him. I had to keep my hands on him as he untied my ankles. I had to be near to him. He was my refuge as raw emotions continued to flare unbidden inside of me. I needed him. I could not be parted from him.  
He completed his task and moved to take me in his arms, surrounding me in his embrace, holding me tight. He brushed kisses over my forehead and began to speak, his voice low and deep. "I love you. I love you so much. I didn't expect things to be that intense. Thank you for giving yourself to me. It was beautiful. You were beautiful."  
"I love you," I answered and the words came from a place that was truer and deeper than ever before. An hour ago my understanding of my love for him had been shallow and immature, a mere fragment of what really lay in my heart. He was right, it was beautiful, tender, strong and all-consuming.  
I lay in his arms and even dozed a little. Until the fear began to creep back and panic jangled through my veins. I pushed away from him. He was asleep, his cheek resting against my temple. It had never been this painful. I had always run without a backwards glance or with just the slightest twinge of missing him. Now, he was embedded so deeply inside of me, my only option was to tear myself away. To feel the pain of separation, the ache of loss.  
A sob broke from me. He was looking up at me, his dark eyes curious and sleepy. My heart was crying out, asking how I could leave him like this. I needed him and he needed me. It demanded that I stay in his arms all night and hold him close. But the fear was stronger. It always had been, stronger than anything else I had ever known. It pushed me away from him and off the bed.  
"I have to go now," I said. I was _crying_. The fear and the loss battling inside of me, tearing me apart. "I don't really want to."  
The truth, but also a concession, a gift for him because I could see the pain of loss reflected in his gaze. I turned to reach for the black dress and pull it on. I didn't want to see the torment in his eyes. It had always been there, but was usually mixed with acceptance and understanding. He was vulnerable now too, after what we had shared. He was struggling to hide his disappointment.  
"There's food in the kitchen. If you don't eat it now then you can have it for breakfast." I hurried towards the door. The pain was feeding the panic. I had to get out of there.  
"Sakiko."  
I turned back to look at him, already halfway through the door.  
"I'm always here when you need me."


	3. Trust

"This is _impossible_," Olivia said, dropping her phone down onto the table with a disgusted sigh and reaching for a piece of gunkan maki . "Most of these ideas are ridiculous. A shark-proof diving suit? Super expensive coasters to set your drink on? I want to give up. It seems like whatever I get him he's just going to say, 'That's cute. Thanks,' and move on."  
Olivia, Chisato and I were in a private room in the sushi restaurant at the hotel having lunch and trying to figure out what to get Eisuke and Soryu for Christmas. We were searching 'gifts for the man who has everything' but not having much luck.  
"Don't give up," Chisato said. "I'm sure there must be many things out there that Eisuke would enjoy that he's never even seen before. So, he didn't even have a chance to buy them for himself."  
"I'm sure you're right," Olivia said with a sigh. "But this is just so hard. How am I supposed to find some amazing gift when I can't even leave the hotel?"  
"Didn't you say that he loves video games?" I asked and leaned forward to show her my phone. "Look at this virtual reality flying machine. It makes you feel like you're really flying in virtual reality and it's a video game...or something. Maybe you can use it with different games?"  
"Oh, that might be good." Olivia took my phone and began scanning the description. "If you can get this for your home, I bet there are really great ones that they make for video game centers. I'm using Eisuke's money to buy this, so the sky's the limit."  
"That takes care of Eisuke. Now, what do I get for Soryu?" I asked.  
"What's a good gift for a yakuza?" Chisato replied with a mischievous little smile. "A tattoo? Or some kind of gun?"  
I groaned. "Soryu doesn't have any tattoos and I wouldn't know how to choose a gun even if I could go into a store and buy one."  
"A tattoo?" Olivia mused. "That isn't a bad idea."  
"Eisuke wants a tattoo?" Chisato asked, her voice surprised. "Does he have tattoos?"  
"Oh, no. He wouldn't be the one getting the tattoo," Olivia said with a laugh. "But I think I should save the tattoo for another time."  
I leveled a look at Olivia. Her relationship with Eisuke was fucked up. "He wants you to get a tattoo?"  
"He's mentioned it," she replied with a shrug.  
"Don't let him bully you into getting a tattoo," I said, my voice firm.  
"He isn't bullying me," she said, but her eyes were evasive. She wasn't telling the complete truth. "You don't need to worry."  
"I don't trust Eisuke, _at all_," I emphasized, trying to catch her eye and read her expression.  
"_You_ shouldn't trust him," she shot back. "But I can."  
Before I could answer Chisato spoke up, obviously changing the topic to defuse the tension. "I wonder if I should get Mamoru a gift. It would be the polite thing to do since we've been working together, but I don't know much about him. I could get him one of those neck pillows, but I really don't think I should encourage him to sleep."  
"He likes food," Olivia suggested. "And he works on paperwork a lot. Maybe a nice pen?"  
"Oh, a pen sounds like a good idea," Chisato said with a smile. "A pen and some cookies should do it."  
I was about to put my two cents in when my phone chimed. "You got a text from Soryu," Olivia said, passing my phone back to me.  
I opened the text. It read, "_Be at my apartment at 9."_  
My stomach dropped, my heart started pounding and I broke out in a fine sheen of sweat. This was a command. It had been nearly two weeks since he had tied me to the bed. Two weeks of normal, sweet Soryu. Two weeks of no pressure. I'd needed it badly. I'd been raw with newly discovered emotions and there were times when I'd been overcome by terror when I remembered anew just how deeply bound I was to him. He'd been tender and I'd been kinder than usual. My walls had gone back up but there were cracks in them now, places where love seeped through.  
That love was changing things between us. Before the night he'd brought out the ropes, I'd been trying to mold our relationship into something as close as possible to my old way of doing things. I'd kept him at a distance, kept my feelings hidden and breezed casually through our interactions. I'd been trying to turn him into some sort of permanent sex friend, spending time with him and fucking and keeping my emotions out of it as much as possible.  
Now the seal had been broken and I wanted to be near him all the time. I felt best when I was touching him. Holding hands or sitting close was enough to calm me down. I kissed him, touched him and hugged him and it wasn't all just a lead up to sex. But it was fragile, or I was fragile. I was filled with fear and needed to run away often. When I ran, it wasn't the same as it was before. I missed him, I craved him, I needed him to be near me.  
I couldn't be okay with him or without him. The only solution was to go back to the way things were before. To force that love back behind the wall and close off the cracks. It was nice on its own but too much fear and pain came with it. It couldn't be allowed to stay.  
Soryu had been treating me just like always, for the most part. There was more love in his eyes and in his touch. I knew that it was nothing new, he was just able to let it show more since I had changed. He accepted everything that I gave him and matched my level. He didn't try to press more onto me. He held back and kept himself contained. He watched me carefully to make sure he never went too far.  
But now there was this text. The second order to meet him. I knew that he'd chosen to text it on purpose rather than saying it aloud. This way I had time to think about it before I answered. If he'd said those words to me in person, I probably would have told him to fuck off and run away without a second thought. An order to meet him instead of an invitation. He was certainly going to tie me up again.  
I stared at my phone, even though the screen had already gone black. I was filled with conflicting desires. The slut in me wanted whatever he had to give. She was always up for a fuck, bondage was just an added thrill. She wanted to see what he would do and meet him head on. The fear in me wanted to run, to flee even the restaurant where I sat with my friends, and hide myself away where I couldn't be found. The last time he'd given me a command he'd opened up my heart and exposed my emotions. The fear in me never wanted that to happen again.  
The dealer in me didn't want to fold. I accepted and conquered all challenges. I never gave up. This part of me was sure that the first time had been a fluke. I hadn't been prepared and my control had slipped. I wouldn't allow that to happen again. Let him keep me tied to the bed for a month and fuck me endlessly. I wouldn't let him in again.  
"...and if you have enough money you can make anything happen," Olivia was saying when I lifted my head and glanced at my friends. "I'll call Mio this afternoon."  
Chisato looked over and met my eyes. "Are you okay, Sakiko? You spaced out after you got that text and you look a little pale."  
"Yeah. Everything's fine. Some of the guys went down to Osaka. It looked like there was going to be a big confrontation with a yakuza there. Soryu just texted to let me know they worked things out without anyone getting hurt. It's a big relief," I said, lying through my teeth. At this point I wasn't close enough with either of them to admit that I was worried about Soryu tying me to a bed and fucking with my emotions. And if I did, Olivia would call me all kinds of a hypocrite since I was always questioning how Eisuke treated her.  
"That's great to hear," Chisato said. "It must be really stressful worrying about that kind of thing."  
As I nodded, Olivia said, "I can't even imagine. You should have told us. I know we can't do anything but we can at least listen."  
"I'll try to remember that for next time," I said, feeling a little bad for lying.  
"Did you hear what I'm going to get Eisuke?" Olivia asked. When I shook my head she continued, "I _am_ going to get him a virtual reality machine and I'm also going to have Mio design a set of cufflinks with an O and an E intertwined. Maybe you can get Soryu some cufflinks. I'll give you a discount at the jewelry store."  
"Thanks, but Soryu isn't as interested in fashion as Eisuke is. I'm just going to have to keep thinking about it," I said with a sigh.  
"If something comes to mind, I'll let you know," Chisato said. "But right now I've got to get back to work."  
"I should get back, too," Olivia said. "The shop is getting busier every day since it's getting closer to Christmas."  
We said our goodbyes and I let the two of them walk out before me. Once they left I picked up my phone and opened the messaging app. I wasn't used to this. I'd always went after what I wanted and run from the things I'd wanted to avoid. There hadn't been gray areas. I wasn't used to feeling conflicted or having to over analyze decisions. I needed to keep this as simple as possible. I wanted him. However hard it was, being with him was the only thing that really mattered. Even if I had to let him be the dealer for a little while.  
I sent the word, "ok" to Soryu.

I stepped off the elevator and froze, staring at the door to Soryu's apartment. I was nearly forty-five minutes late. Some of the boys had decided to kick up a fuss at the townhouse, complaining because they thought Inui was being too bossy now that the two of us were working together to manage the house. They'd been acting like children, mostly upset because the weakest link suddenly had a bit of authority over them. They'd gotten themselves all worked up and it had taken a while to straighten them out. After that I'd had a long talk with Inui about how hard it was to manage your friends.  
I'd almost sent a text to Soryu telling him that I'd be late. It would have been the considerate and polite thing to do. But my independent streak wouldn't let me. It said that he didn't own me, that I didn't have to let him know anything. It wanted to punish him for sending me that command. Hell, it wanted to punish him because I'd fallen in love with him. It wanted to take every possible opportunity to push him away.  
Now I stood in the hallway regretting my decision not to send that text. What if he was mad? What if he thought that I'd changed my mind and wasn't going to show up at all? I reminded myself that he never got mad at me, he always controlled his emotions around me. He was always understanding. But he might be different tonight, like he had been on that first night. He might let himself get angry, he might not hold back. But if he was angry, he also had ropes. A thrill of excitement went through me at the thought and set my feet walking towards his door.  
It would be okay. Soryu would never do anything to hurt me. I just had to maintain my self control, protect my heart, and enjoy whatever he had planned. This was something special, it was not something to fear.

He must have heard me opening the door. I'd barely begun slipping my shoes off when he turned the corner at the end of the short hallway and headed straight for me, a focused look on his face. He didn't stop or slow down when he reached me. He caught my hands in his and pushed me back against the door, pinning my wrists on either side of my head.  
His mouth fell on mine, his tongue pushing past my lips with no hesitation or seduction. My heart jumped and my mind tried to catch up. Should I let myself go and let him do as he wished? Should I hold myself back, keep myself guarded? Should I try to push him away and establish some sort of boundary? My body answered for me. Even if my mind was trying to analyze different responses, my tongue wanted to tangle with his, my breasts wanted to be pressed against his chest, and the love that was always there now wanted to surround him and never let go.  
As he explored my mouth, sending little shivers of arousal through me, I could taste his feelings. Anger, frustration and worry over my late arrival mixed with his determination to take me, to plunder me, to rule me. An alarm went off in my mind. This was too much for me. I needed to run away but his kiss was clouding my thoughts, taking my body hostage and destroying my fear before it even had a chance to take over. I was melting into him. I wanted his touch and his fierceness. I wanted him to fuck me without restraint. My body wanted me to believe that I could do this. I would just keep things on the physical level, just like every other man I'd ever let touch me. I'd take everything he had to give me and let go as little of myself as possible.  
He must have felt the resistance leave my body. He pulled his lips from mine and began yanking off my clothes, dropping them at our feet, not satisfied until my body was completely bared to him. He reached out a hand and stroked his thumb over my lips before trailing his fingers down my neck and taking my breast in his hand. Heat and desire filled me as his fingers massaged my flesh and plucked at my nipple. I felt contentment begin to seep into me, a new feeling that I only felt when Soryu was touching and fucking me. It relaxed places inside of me that were almost always tense and on edge. I pushed into his hand. I wanted more of it, I wanted that contentment to fill me completely.  
His hand left my breast and skimmed down my stomach to cup my pussy, pressing and massaging without slipping between my lips. I moaned, leaning back against the door and thrusting my sex against his fingers. I wanted him. I wanted him to push my legs apart, fill me with his cock and fuck me against the wall. I wanted to feel him deep inside of me, thrusting hard and making me scream. I looked up at him, my desire in my eyes.  
"Get into the bedroom," he said as soon as he met my gaze. His hand left my cunt and he stepped aside to let me pass.  
I went eagerly, scurrying through the apartment. I wanted to run to the bed and throw myself down on it. I wanted him inside of me as quickly as possible. When I reached the room there was rope on the bed, lying in a coil, waiting for Soryu to take it up and bind me. Emotions washed over me. An initial fear as I remembered how vulnerable I had been before when ropes had pinned me to the bed, but that was crowded out by my desire to have him inside of me and to give him whatever he wanted. I only needed to remember to protect my emotions, to keep them closed off. I could give him my body.  
He stepped into the bedroom behind me. I turned to face him. He'd taken off his shirt along the way and was standing in a pair of track pants, his chest bared. I pushed the last of the fear and uncertainty away. There were no more questions. I wanted him. I wanted to be pressed against that body and lying beneath him. I wanted to be consumed by him.  
He picked up the rope and silently took my arms and moved them into position behind my back, my arms bent and my hands touching my elbows. He wasn't going to tie me to the bed. This was the position for a box tie. I felt happiness filling me. It was something new, something the two of us had never done together before.  
His hands began to work the rope over my skin, brushing, touching, pressing, sending shivers through me and stealing my breath. I felt more of the special contentment rising up in me. This was so much different than when I'd been tied up by men in the past. Then it had always been just an added thrill, a way to make things more extreme and turn off my thoughts and memories. I'd always been impatient, biting my tongue as the rope went into position, just wanting to get to the fucking as soon as possible.  
With Soryu every movement was a seduction. He was standing so close, I could smell him and feel his heat. Just being near him made me feel both excited and calm at the same time. His hands moved over me, setting the rope in place, binding me step by step. Passion flared in my stomach but desire built slowly, mixing with the contentment that was flowing through my veins. My usual sense of urgency, the desire to get straight to the fuck, was dimmed. I had the peace and the presence of mind to enjoy his every movement, to watch him, studying the way his dark hair fell over his head, the shape and whorl of his ears, the lines of his face, the muscles of his back and chest.  
This was my love for him. Pouring out of the cracks in my wall and rejoicing in every little aspect of him and his careful attention. Taming my desire so that I could enjoy the binding with a measure of patience. I was filled with my love for him, my skin was tingling with it and it moved in and out with my every breath. All that I wanted to do was give myself to this man.  
"It's done," he said, his fingers playing over the layers of rope below my breasts. There was a gleam of pride and satisfaction in his eyes.  
"Can I look in the mirror?" I asked and hurried into the bathroom when he nodded.  
"Mt. Fuji," I said in amazement as I looked at my reflection. Rope circled my arms and held them tightly to my body, my forearms and hands locked in place behind my back. "This is my favorite box tie and you did a beautiful job." I examined his workmanship in amazement. I really was very impressed. "You've created a perfect frame for my breasts, you didn't smash them at all. How did you learn to do this?"  
"I've been taking shibari classes," he replied.  
"That's...great," I said, taking in the fact that he'd cared enough about doing this that he'd managed to work classes into his busy schedule. I licked my lips nervously as I stared at myself in the mirror, rows of rope bordered my breasts and looped over my shoulders, there was a pretty twist of rope below my collarbone. It was one of the more complicated box ties.  
I wanted to tell him how special it had felt to have him binding me, that our love took things to a different level than I had ever felt before, but I couldn't get my lips to move. I knew that he would love to hear those words. They would make him so happy, but I couldn't get past my fear that giving him too much, letting him know just how much I loved him, would give him too much power over me.  
I looked up. He was standing behind me and our eyes met in the mirror. What did he see in mine, my love or my fear or both?  
"Thank you," I said and he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his face in the sensitive spot where my shoulder curved into my neck. His lips and tongue played over my skin, making their way hot and wet up to my ear.  
"You look perfect in this. Your body was made to be tied up. It makes me want to fuck you until you beg for mercy. " His warm breath blew hotly over my ear. "Now get on the bed."

Anticipation was making me breathless as he helped me onto the bed. He arranged pillows behind me to cushion my bound arms and sat me against them. I watched as he removed the rest of his clothes and lowered himself onto the bed. He moved between my legs and his hands explored my body, caressing my feet, up my legs and over my stomach. I gasped and shivered as he touched me, a special kind of desire that I had never felt before filling me. It was deep and calm, building up in layers but never reaching the frenzied urgency that I was used to from the shallower desire that I'd always experienced before.  
I _wanted_ him to touch me forever. I had no interest in rushing this towards the end. I never wanted it to stop. I wanted to enjoy every precious moment, to stretch it out endlessly. His thumb brushed over my nipple and I sighed with satisfaction. I felt like purring as I melted under his fingers, falling into a bottomless well of passion. This was my love controlling me rather than my fear, reveling in his every caress, running from nothing.  
I took a deep breath and felt tears prick at my eyes. This was beautiful and peaceful. This was making love. I could feel safe with Soryu. There was nothing that I needed to hide from, nothing that I needed to flee. There was just him and me and the pleasure that we were sharing. His lips followed the curves of my breasts, his tongue rolled over my nipples and his teeth bit teasingly. I cooed and moaned as he did one thing after another to give me pleasure, as he explored and enjoyed my body. I felt the connection between us, strengthening, tightening. He was pouring his love onto me and my own love was rising up to meet and accept it.  
Tears fell from my eyes as his mouth worked a path of kisses down my stomach, his hands pushing my legs wide as his tongue aimed for my pussy. This was pleasure, desire, passion, everything filling me like an ocean until there was nothing left except my need for him and the joy that he was giving me. He licked my pussy with slow strokes, caressing my folds with his tongue, in no hurry to get anywhere.  
As his tongue lapped and swirled, his lips tugged and his teeth nibbled, I moaned and panted, helpless on the bed. With my arms bound behind me and my legs spread wide and pinned by his hands, I could barely move. I couldn't arch up into his mouth. I couldn't writhe, I couldn't touch him, run my fingers through his hair or pull him close. It was frustrating, nearly painful, but I also knew that it was the best thing I could do for him. This is what he'd always wanted, to taste my pussy without being rushed, and I'd never been able to give it to him. I'd never failed to hurry him along as if the fuck couldn't come fast enough.  
"Ah, this feels so good," I said, wanting to give him something to let him know how much I was enjoying myself. "I never want it to end."  
He answered me with his tongue, swirling over my clit again and again before sucking it between his lips. He pushed two fingers inside of me and went straight for my g-spot, stroking an electric fever through my veins as his mouth flirted with my clit. The ocean of passion that had slowly built up inside of me began to rise up in great tidal waves and crash over my body. He drew orgasms out of me one after another, relentlessly, until I was a gasping mass of quivering flesh, defenseless on the bed before him.  
He rose up with a wicked little smile and his tongue peeked out to lick the taste of me off his lips. "Are you ready to be fucked?"  
I gasped as a tremor of fear went through me. I'd forgotten. I'd lain vulnerable and exposed and let love pour out of me. I'd opened myself to him and let him do as he wished without a thought to putting up my wall, closing myself off or protecting myself. As I remembered my intention to lock away my emotions and tried to gather the shreds of my self-control, Soryu reached for the rope.  
My heart almost stopped, seeing that rope just as I was trying to gather my defenses. I watched breathlessly as Soryu pushed my right ankle back to my thigh and began tying a futumomo leg tie. Of course his work was beautiful and he worked quickly and skillfully. My body gave a little jolt of pleasure each time his fingers brushed over my skin. I fought against it. Pushing back against the love that wanted to flood out and wash over everything, building my walls back up, searching for the feeling of no emotions, only physical sensations that had always been there when I fucked.  
I was on red alert, battening down the hatches and throwing up the shields as quickly as possible. Preparing myself to receive his cock but nothing else. I would hold my love back and let his slip past me. It would be as it always was and I would be safe. Everything would return to normal. I would prove to myself that I could maintain control through anything, even an all out assault from Soryu and his love.  
He finished the leg tie and looked up at me. "I want to take a picture but it'll have to wait until next time. I can't wait to get inside of you."  
I held my breath as he moved over me, clenched my stomach muscles and strengthened my spine, preparing myself to keep my walls in place no matter what. He pulled me down from the pillows, an arm behind my back to prevent me from lying on my bound arms, and then he turned me over. My stomach flipped and my breath caught in my throat as I hovered above the bed. My knees were supporting me, one leg bound and one free. The only thing that kept me from falling face first into the mattress was the arm that Soryu held across my chest, his strong hand cupping my shoulder.  
He moved slowly, experimentally, positioning himself behind me, nudging my legs further apart with his knee. My mind raced as I tried to comprehend that he was really going to fuck me like this. My body jolted as his cock pressed between my lips and began to push into me.  
"Soryu, no. I-" Shock overwhelmed my ability to speak and I knew they were the wrong words anyway. I was supposed to say my safe word if I wanted him to stop. I closed my eyes and tried to pull my thoughts together. Did I really want to use my safeword? I could feel my defenses weakening already and I knew that when I opened my eyes it would be worse. They'd be crumble completely. But I'd experienced it before. I knew what it felt like. I knew that I'd survive. I didn't want to give up. I couldn't use my safeword when there wasn't really anything wrong. There was no pain or danger, only the possibility of falling down onto a soft mattress.  
It was easy to tell myself that, but when I opened my eyes the position felt perilous. I had very little control over my body, even my knees on the bed felt insecure since one of them was bound. The only thing keeping me from falling was Soryu. I knew how strong he was, he worked out every morning. I loved his muscles, but I'd never imagined I'd be depending on them like this.  
I knew that I could trust him. I knew it deep in my bones. He was always there for me and I had absolutely zero reason to doubt either his love for me or his intentions to keep me safe. But I couldn't help but be afraid in such a precarious position, even though I knew it wouldn't hurt if I fell and I knew that he wouldn't drop me. The fear turned my walls to dust as I spent my energy on keeping myself calm and reminding myself that I could depend on Soryu.  
He'd been slowly pushing his cock inside of me and I let out a gasp as he filled me completely. While his right arm held me tightly, he set his left hand down on the bed next to us, creating a kickstand for holding us up. His mouth descended on my back, his lips and tongue exploring my spine with licks and wet kisses while he rocked his hips, bumping the head of his cock into my cervix over and over again.  
I cried out, fear and pleasure at war inside of me. "_Soryu,"_ I said, wanting to see him, to hear him at least. I wanted to push the fear away and give in to the pleasure, but it was much harder to focus when I couldn't see him.  
"I'm right here," he said, pulling back and then thrusting his cock into me as if to prove his point. "Don't worry, I've got you. I won't let you go."  
He began fucking me with quick short thrusts. I tried for a moment to pull myself together, to meet his movements and to actively control myself. It was impossible. All that I could do was accept him and let the pleasure that he gave me flow through my body. If we were in the missionary position I would have been a starfish, lying motionless and taking everything he gave me. I couldn't even control myself long enough to clench the walls of my pussy around his shaft. I'd lost all of my strength as I trembled in his arms, soaking him up like a sponge.  
I stopped fighting for any kind of control and just accepted everything from him. His movements, his support and his love. He was breathing harshly above me, droplets of sweat falling on my back. My muscles were tightening on their own as an orgasm built inside of me. When it came it was huge, rocking through my entire body, making me scream helplessly as the pleasure burst through me without restraint.  
Soryu came right after I did, plunging deep and spilling his hot seed against my cervix. He immediately withdrew and moved me so that I sat on the bed. His fingers worked to quickly remove the box tie that bound my arms.  
"Sorry," he said and I could hear the happiness in his voice. "I know I said I'd fuck you until you begged for mercy, but I want to get you out of these ropes. I want to feel your arms around me."  
I smiled at him and said, "yeah, let me hold you." I still felt strange and weak. Once released, my arms only added to the feeble feeling. They felt like jello and didn't respond exactly like I wanted them to.  
I clumsily stroked his back and shoulders while he untied my leg. When he was finished I pushed myself at him, knocked him onto his back and climbing over him to take his lips in a sweet kiss. It felt so good to be able to touch him and taste him as I wished. His lips were firm and soft, but his hands pressed against my shoulders, gently pushing me away from him.  
I rose up and looked down into his eyes. I felt my heart twist. "I love you," I said, before dipping down to kiss him again.  
His hands stopped me, holding me inches above his mouth. "Wait, I wanted to massage your arms and leg. I want to make sure they're okay."  
"They're fine," I said. "Just let me kiss you."  
He hesitated for a moment before moving his hands and letting me get back to his lips. While I kissed him, pushing into his mouth to tangle with his tongue, he ran his hands over my arms, lightly massaging.  
This was something new. For the moment I felt peaceful and happy. I loved him and I trusted him. I still wanted to kiss him endlessly. I was in no hurry to do anything or get anywhere, I just wanted to enjoy touching and tasting him. His hands eventually moved from my arms. He rolled us over until we were on our sides and used one hand to massage the leg that had been tied up. I just kept kissing him, exploring his mouth in every way that I could imagine, sucking and nibbling and licking.  
When I finally pulled away from his mouth, he rubbed his thumb over my lips and said, "I like this."  
"Why are you doing this?" I asked. "Why are you tying me up?" He hadn't had sex since he was a freshman in college. I seriously doubted that he'd harbored an interest in shibari that entire time and hadn't tried to act on it.  
He was quiet for a minute before he answered, his fingers stroking gently over my lips as I waited for his answer. "I want to replace everything that any man has ever done to you. I want to fuck you better in every possible way and erase all those other men from your memory. When you close your eyes, I only want you to remember me."  
I bit my lip, feeling myself blush. I never blushed at anything, but the thought that he wanted to possess me like that, at that moment in time it pleased me rather than scaring me. It sent happiness tingling through me. "You don't ever have to worry about that," I said, burying my face in his neck so that he couldn't see me looking so vulnerable. "I love you and the way you love me. No man could ever compare to you."


	4. PleasurePain

When I opened the door of my apartment, the lights were on and Soryu was sitting on the couch. My defenses began to rise automatically as my eyes took in the coffee cup sitting next to his laptop on the coffee table, his loosened tie and mussed hair. He'd been there for a while, invading my space without asking permission.  
He rarely came to my apartment. This was supposed to be my sanctuary, my place to escape. Questions raced through my mind. _What are you doing here? How long have you been here? Where did you go, what did you touch? Why didn't you call or text? __Why are you here?_  
But I was supposed to be doing better. I _was_ doing better. I was in touch with my love and I was trusting him. Things had been settling down. I'd been walking away to get a little space, not running away due to fear, and the times I need to run were fewer. I could accept our relationship. I didn't need to put up a barrier or escape. I took a deep breath and pushed all of the paranoia and fear away.  
"Hey," I said, giving him a smile. It was only a little forced.  
"Take your clothes off."  
My heart gave one giant thud inside my chest and then began to race. Anticipation sizzled over my skin so strongly that it made me feel almost numb. I let the front door fall closed behind me and began unbuttoning my coat with clumsy fingers. It felt as if I'd been waiting for this forever. He was finally going to tie me up again. I was so excited that my fingers shook as I stripped off my sweater and pants.  
Don't get me wrong. Things had been _very nice_ since the last time he'd tied me up. Practically blissful. We'd been closer than ever before. Everything had felt warm and easy. I'd still needed my space, but the need hadn't been fueled by fear. It had just been a need. We'd been happy and comfortable and fucking had been fantastic. Now that my love was no longer locked away, we'd been truly making love and things had reached a whole new level of amazing.  
But even with the new and improved sex life, I'd been wondering when he would tie me up again. I'd been craving it. I was no longer afraid of being vulnerable with him. I wanted that intensity, I couldn't wait for the fiery emotions that exploded within me when he bound me. I'd been anticipating a quiet night at home, but I was more than ready to put myself in his hands and give him whatever he wanted.  
He sat on the couch watching me as I took off the remainder of my clothes, his body relaxed and his eyes penetrating. My movements we hurried and clumsy. I was too interested in getting to the part where he was touching me to worry about taking things slow and putting on a sexy show. When I dropped my panties to the ground he said, "come here", waving me over with his hand.  
I went to him, watching the smile that played on his lips and the light flickering in his eyes. He took my hand and tried to tug me onto his lap, but I resisted. "I'm already getting wet. I don't want to ruin your suit."  
"I don't give a fuck about my suit," he replied and pulled me onto his lap. His hands strong and sure, sliding hot over my hips and legs as I moved onto him.  
I straddled his thighs, wrapped my arms around his neck and met his mouth for a fiery kiss. Passion rose up inside of me like a tidal wave. I loved the taste of him, the smell of him, and the feel of his clothes brushing against my skin. Breaking away from our kiss, I arched my back, enjoying the feel of desire filling my veins and swelling my chest. He was going to touch me, tie me up and fuck me. I wanted all of it. Every cell in my body was crying out for it and the love that I held for him was already pouring out of me.  
There were little twinges of fear and hesitation. Vestiges of my old self, the habitual panic and discomfort, warning me that getting too close was dangerous. But I was cheating that fear, practicing a little of slight of hand. I'd always used sex to escape from negative feelings, searching for intense physical sensations to drown out fear and worry and sadness. What could be more intense than fucking Soryu with all of the love that was inside of me? Add some bondage to that and the fear didn't have a chance in hell.  
I pushed it away, all of my worries and doubts. They didn't make sense anymore. They were of the past and this man was my present and my future. I tangled my fingers in his hair, enjoying the silkiness as it slid over my fingers, and went back to his lips. Soft and firm and hot, pressing and tugging at my own lips. His tongue slick, wet and pushing into my mouth, filling and stroking. I arched against him, sucking on his tongue while I rubbed my pussy against the bulge in his slacks. His hands slid up my thighs and cupped my ass, pulling my sex tighter to him as he ground himself against me.  
"_Fuck,"_ I said, wrenching my mouth from his and gasping for air. "Are you going to tie me up? Are you here to tie me up? If not I want fucked _right now_. I'm so fucking turned on."  
He laughed, the sound and feel of it against my skin sending shivers down my spine. He always had so much more control than me, he never seemed to let it slip. He reached up to pull my hair, yanking my head back and targeting my nipples with his mouth. I arched back and moaned, pressing my nipples into his lips as he licked, sucked and nibbled. Lightning shivers raced over my skin, heating my belly and my pussy, increasing the excited ache deep inside.  
"Please, Soryu," I moaned. "Stop teasing me."  
"Yes, I'm going to bind you," he said. His voice had taken on that serious tone he got when he was doing shibari. It sent anticipation through me.  
I slid off his lap. "Where do you want me?"  
"On your bed," he said and followed me as I skipped ahead of him to my bedroom.  
I lay across my bed with a happy sigh. There was a big coil of rope on the floor and a leather bag that probably held Soryu's tools. My skin was tingling all over. I couldn't wait for him to touch me and thread the rope around my body. It would be the first time that he would bind and fuck me in my own apartment, on my own bed. I wanted that experience. I wanted those memories.  
I lay quietly watching him as he made a single column tie on each of my ankles and then measured and cut long lengths of rope to be used as pulleys for the bindings on my ankles. He used a double column to bind my wrists together. As usual I watched him as he worked, enjoying the sight of him in his dress shirt and tie, the scent of his skin and his clothes. His nearness made me relaxed and excited at the same time. I was so happy with him. I wanted to pull him into me and never let him go.  
When he was finished tying the rope around my wrists, he helped me to roll over and get on my hands and knees. It was awkward since my hands were bound together, but his hands were all over me, guiding and supporting, easing me into place. Once I was where he wanted me, he lifted my bound wrists and tied them to the top of my headboard.  
The heat inside of me increased as he used the long lengths of rope to create pulleys that attached to either corner of the footboard of my bed, securing me in place on the bed. My hands were lashed to the headboard and the only way I could move my legs would be to push them towards the end of the bed. That would have just left me hanging helplessly from the headboard.  
The position brought back memories of the time I'd asked Nori to bind my wrists. I'd been in the penthouse, drooling over Soryu as he loosened his tie while he focused on his laptop. My mind had been filled with fantasies and I'd rushed to Nori's apartment where I'd instructed him bind my wrists with one of his neckties and then tie my hands to his doorknob. In the end, I hadn't been able to stop myself from fantasizing about Soryu while Nori fucked me from behind.  
But this was the real Soryu, moving around the room as he took off his clothes. I wanted him so badly that I'd already broken into a sweat and my entire body was aching. I knew this would be so much better than I ever could have fantasized about. I was going to have his huge cock inside of me and all of the love and feelings that only Soryu could give me.  
"I want your tie on me," I said. "Use it as a blindfold or _something_. I want it touching me."  
He didn't answer but knelt on the bed next to me. The light blue of his silk tie dropped in front of my eyes and then tightened around my head, closing off my view of the room.  
"I'm going to spank you," he said, his hand caressing over my asscheeks. "How do you want it?"  
"Hard," I said without a moment's hesitation. "Make me scream." My senses were already heightened from the loss of sight. I wanted things to get extreme. I wanted to be pushed to my limits. Soryu was always holding back. I could sense it, I could see it in him all the time. I wanted him to lose control and give me everything that he had.  
He left the bed and continued undressing. I listened to the rustling of his clothing and his footsteps on the floor. My heart rate jumped as he returned to the bed and sank down on it. I braced for the spanking that he had promised, but instead his fingertips traced over my ass, caressing so lightly that they were barely there.  
I let out a sigh of confusion and frustration as he draw patterns on my ass. Where was the pain that I'd been promised? I had no choice but to focus on those fingertips, moving oh so gently over my skin until they suddenly disappeared.  
'_Here it comes,'_ I thought, ready to receive my punishment, eager for it to begin.  
His fingertips returned, feather light, swirling over my ass again and again before they traced upwards over my back, sending shivers up my spine. His mouth followed, replacing his hands and dropping kisses, licks and nibbles over the curves of my ass.  
His mouth and hands left my skin again only to return moments later. His lips continued to explore my asscheeks while his hands massaged tenderly up and down the backs of my thighs. I sighed, giving in to the pleasure of his touch, warmth spreading throughout my body. I felt myself opening up as the love within me flowed out to meet his gentle caresses. As usual he was spoiling me, lavishing me with his love and attention, treating me tenderly.  
His lips and fingertips disappeared and this time they were replaced by the crack of a paddle so quickly that I almost couldn't comprehend it. The sound hit my ears before the pain even registered, zinging up my spine sharp and sweet. The surprise jolted a cry of alarm from my lips, which was followed quickly by a gasp as the pain hit me.  
"Does that count as a scream?" he asked idly. The fingers of one hand were back to tracing up and down my left thigh.  
"_No,"_ I said firmly. He'd lulled me into a gentle pleasure to increase the shock of the pain. I hadn't expected him to be so devious, so well planned. I'd underestimated him and I should have known better. "Give me more."  
"I don't want you giving me commands," he said. The paddle came down on my other asscheek. Stinging hot, mixing with my desire, fueling my emotions to greater heights, making my whole body buzz with wicked pleasure.  
He was at least a little angry. I could feel it in the air and in the painful strokes of the paddle as they continued to assault my ass. I cursed the blindfold. I wanted to see him. Was anger flashing in his eyes? What look did he have on his face when he brought the paddle down on my skin? What was he thinking and feeling?  
He was hitting me hard, driving pain into me, but I was a master at taking that pain and translating it into arousal and desire. My pussy was flooding with wetness, burning for his cock, the feeling so intense that I could feel it all over my body, down my arms and legs, into my fingers and toes. I wanted him with everything that I was, a raging inferno building higher and higher with every ragged breath that I took. A scream burst from my lips with every smack of the paddle on my ass. A loud cry that was as much a plea to be fucked as it was an expression of pain.  
I tugged blindly on the ropes that bound my hands, I was quickly losing the ability to think. Instincts were taking over as pain, pleasure and need filled me, pushing me closer to a breaking point. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't ask him to fuck me. I knew that if I did, he would only make me wait longer. I couldn't say my safe word. It would make him stop and I didn't want him to stop, I just wanted him to move on to the next step and give me his cock. I was desperate for him to take care of the ache that was throbbing deep inside of me.  
All that I could do was scream out the intensity of my feelings. The increasing pain of the spanking was nearly unbearable, my desire to be fucked was all consuming, it felt primal and insatiable. Behind the blindfold, bound naked to the bed, I felt like a wild animal raging in a cage. But I didn't want out of that cage. I wanted him to come in with me, to hold me and merge with me and share in every movement and feeling.  
"_Soryu… Soryu…"_ I needed him. If he didn't start touching me, holding me, filling me, I would go insane. "_Please… Ah, Please…"  
_ The paddling stopped and I felt him moving close behind me. First his heat and then his hands, moving over my body, touching my skin like a miracle, drops of water after days in the desert. His fingers explored over my back, tugging at my skin as he positioned himself behind me. I could feel myself opening up to him, eagerly, automatically, with no hesitation or reservations. My body, heart and soul, everything, opening to take him in and let him fill me completely.  
He didn't disappoint. He forced his cock into me with one exquisitely deep plunge. So different from his usual slow and careful entrance. His hands moved to my hips, his fingers holding tight as he began to fuck me with fast, hard thrusts, putting his strength into his movements with a violence he'd never shown before. It felt so fucking good, better than anything I'd ever experienced. I was screaming with delight, the sharp, tingling pleasure deep in my pussy was echoing throughout my body.  
It was so perfect that I wanted to stay in that moment forever. With his cock ramming into me, fiercely driving me to heights that I had never imagined existed. I felt as if I were in another world, surrounded by his love and the razor sharp pleasure that he gave me, held captive by his ropes and his hands.  
There was no escaping him. I felt the truth of it in my very core. I could run and I could hide, but I would always be drawn back to him. He was my hope, my future, my touchstone. There was nothing in life that I wanted or needed more than him. I could deny it and try to ignore it all that I wanted to in the light of day, but the truth of it would never waver.  
"_I love you,"_ I said, fighting through the waves of pleasure that were trying to pull me under in order to say the words that I needed him to hear. "_I love you, Soryu. You are everything to me."_  
He didn't reply but his thrusts got harder and faster. It was as if he wanted to pound himself into me so that I would never forget the feel of him. The sounds of him grunting - a mixture of exertion and pleasure - fell on my ears as drops of sweat pattered over my back. I pushed back against him as best as I could, accepting each crash of his cock, eager for more, wanting him deeper and harder even though he was already playing at my pain threshold.  
As I approached an orgasm, his hands slid down from my hips to cup my asscheeks, gripping roughly and sending electric fire over spanked-raw skin and throughout my body. The pain fueled my orgasm, my screams turning into uncontrolled shrieks as my body spasmed in ecstasy.  
Soryu continued driving his cock into me, so hard and deep, until he plunged in with a roar and spilled his seed inside of me. I was limp and dazed, gasping for air, hanging from the binding on my wrists. The ropes were painful, biting into my skin, but the pain was mixed in and drowned out by all of the other sensations and emotions that were swirling inside of me.  
He pulled out of me and immediately moved to untie me from the headboard and unwind the rope from my wrists. I sighed and kicked my legs behind me, collapsing onto my stomach as he worked, only half aware of what he was doing. My body was still shaking with the after effects of the orgasm and my thoughts were a cloudy swirl.  
"The ropes burned your skin," he said, his voice regretful. "You must have been tugging on them too much."  
I watched as he raised a wrist to inspect the damage and press gentle kisses on my inflamed skin. His touch was so tender and loving, his voice deep and comforting. "Hurry," I said, sleepily. "I want to hold you."  
He worked quickly to remove the ropes that bound my ankles and lay down next to me on the bed, pulling me close and wrapping me tightly in his arms. I rubbed a hand idly over his firm chest and sighed with satisfaction.  
"Did it bother you that I showed up without any warning?" he asked, smoothing his hand over my hair.  
"It did a little. Like, it's an automatic response that just happens," I explained. "I'm not sure if it will ever go away."  
"I hope it does," he said. "I want you to feel happy when you see me. Not stressed or upset."  
"I'm happy now." I began playing my fingertips over one of his nipples. "That was the most incredible sex that I have ever had. It was so intense. You're amazing."  
"That makes me happy...but I find it hard to believe that you haven't done something more intense with someone else."  
I was lying against his chest. So I could feel the way that he held his breath after he finished speaking. He'd said something important and he was waiting for my answer. I propped myself on his chest so that I could see his face. He was intentionally holding his eyelids half-closed, hiding his feelings from me. I chose my words carefully. "It isn't just about what we're physically doing. It's about the way you make me feel. You make me feel things that no one else can because we love each other. It makes the whole experience different."  
"It's hard to imagine that anyone else could make me feel the way that you do," he said, stroking his thumb over my cheek. "But I feel like I'm chasing something that I can't catch. I want to reach the point where you lose all of your fear and only look at me."  
"I don't know if that will ever happen." It hurt to be so honest, to tell him the blunt truth right after what we'd just shared. The truth twisted in my stomach. "Sometimes it feels like the fear and panic are hardwired into me. The things you've been doing, they _are_ making everything so much better, but I don't know if I'll ever be free."  
I watched his eyes, afraid of his reaction. He'd said again and again that he loved me for who I was, but was he hoping to somehow "cure" me? Would he give up if I was a hopeless case?  
"Well, I'm really enjoying learning to tie you up and planning all of the things that I want to do to you," he said with a smile. I felt the tension I was holding melt into relief. "But I am a little worried that I'm hurting you. The ropes burned your wrists pretty badly and I was fucking you very hard. When is it that you're going to use your safeword?"  
"I don't know. Maybe never," I said, dipping down to lap my tongue over his nipple, savoring the salty taste of his sweaty skin. "I don't want to tell you no. I want to give you everything you want, and I like it when it hurts. I'm sure there's a point when pain would be too much, but I don't think you'll ever push things that far."  
"I don't intend to really hurt you, but even this time I got carried away with the paddle," he said, letting out a hiss of pleasure-pain as I carefully bit his nipple and then gently caressed the nub with my tongue. "I'm not sure about taking things further if you aren't going to use your safeword. If I get caught up in the heat of the moment, I might go too far."  
"Well, I want more," I said, pushing myself up to straddle his waist. "I want you to tie me up more and push me more and hurt me more. I want to take everything you have to give, even the things you're normally holding back. I _want_ you to lose control on me. I never want you to hold back."  
I caressed my hands over his hard pecs and abs, exploring the lines of definition between his muscles, circling and tweaking his nipples. "I love the way you spanked my ass. It's still stinging like fire. It's making my clit all swollen and juicy. It feels like it's going to pop. Tomorrow I might be cursing your name because I can't sit down, but right now I just want you to fuck me all night long."  
He chuckled deep in his throat and raised a hand to tug at my nipple, pinching it nice and hard between his fingers and thumb. "You're ready to fuck again? A minute ago you looked like you were about to fall asleep, but I should have known. You're insatiable."  
I took the hand that was playing with my tit and raised it to my mouth to lick and suck his fingers. I loved the taste of him and the feel of his skin sliding over my tongue. "I want to suck you dry and then make you give me more. I want all of you."  
His cock was hard, nudging against my ass, making my pussy clench in anticipation. I licked my lips and bent forward, moving so that the area of my ass that was prickling with pain was exposed. I rubbed my stinging curves against the head of his cock. It was silky smooth and wet with precum, but everywhere it touched felt like a vicious bite.  
I moaned, my muscles growing rigid as pleasure and pain filled me as I rubbed my ass against his dick. It hurt so much that I was groaning and gasping for breath, but it filled me with so much pleasure that I almost couldn't contain it. "I can't stop," I cried. "It's killing me but it feels so good. I can't get enough."  
He suddenly grabbed my upper arms, wrenched me from his body and tossed me down on my back on the bed. He followed close behind, his eyes so dark, full of hot desire. I could see his determination to fuck me hard, to give me all that he had. He pinned my wrists above my head and stared down at me.  
"I've always resented women. I watched the way other women treated my mother and then she abandoned me. Then a woman tried to trick me into marrying her. I've buried that hatred deep inside and just avoided women altogether." His eyes were flashing with emotions, love and hate, desire and fear. "You're digging deep and pulling that hate out of me. It makes me want to hurt you. I love you, but I want to give you pain. I can't-"  
He closed his eyes and shook his head, struggling with his conflicting feelings.  
"I told you that I wanted all of you," I said, arching my body up towards him, inviting him in. "Give it to me. All of the pleasure and all of the pain. _All of it._"  
He hesitated. I watched his eyes as he came to a decision and his gaze hardened. He released my hands and hooked his hands behind my knees, pushing them up, spreading my legs wide, opening my pussy to his invasion. I watched his face as he entered me slowly, concentrating on the feel of my body receiving him centimeter by centimeter. When he was fully seated inside of me, he stopped moving. His eyes were closed tightly and his entire body was rigid with tension as he reached deep inside and opened the lid on his forbidden feelings.  
The head of his cock was pressed firmly against my cervix, making me gasp repeatedly as jolts of pleasure ran through my body. I had to force myself to be still while my body begged me to move on his shaft. I watched his face as he struggled with his inner demons, and then suddenly his eyes opened and he looked down at me. They were glowing with a dark fury so intense that it stole my breath and made my heart quake. Fear rippled over my skin and shot cold down my spine. I sucked in a breath of air, willing myself to calm down, reminding myself that this was Soryu and he would never hurt me.  
But he didn't look like himself. He was always so very in control and businesslike. I'd only ever seen him get angry when he'd yelled at me in Eisuke's car after I'd been kidnapped. And that had ended with our first fuck on the hood of the car. The look in his eyes was so very different from his usual calm. They were full of rage, desperation and a touch of helplessness, and he was staring down at me as if I were the source of all of his negative feelings.  
He moved within me, pulling back and thrusting his cock forward, testing the feel of me beneath him. I must have passed the test. With a growl he began fucking me hard, his dick plunging mercilessly fast and deep, relentlessly forcing all of his anger into me. I cried out in shock and reached a hand up towards his shoulder, wanting to connect myself to him, to steady myself and find a way to match his violent rhythm. His hand moved lightning fast, grabbing my wrist and pushing my arm down and trapping it against the sheets.  
He didn't want me to touch him. He'd moved so fast, he _instinctively_ didn't want my hands on him. I cried out over and over again as his cock pounded painfully into my body. My thoughts were reeling. I couldn't catch up, couldn't wrap my mind around what was happening, couldn't find a position that would let me enjoy the way he was fucking me. I was lost and left behind as he used me to release long dead traumas.  
He released my wrist and his hand came up to tangle in the hair at the back of my head. His grip was far from gentle. This was no tender caress or teasing pulling of the hair. His fist was roughly ensnared in my locks and he used it to raise my head towards him, capturing my gaze with his as he glared at me with eyes full of rage. I moaned up at him, trying to curb the fear inside of me, as he battered his cock into my pussy with a violent desperation, as if his salvation was buried deep inside of me.  
I gave up and let go. I stopped trying to find a way to match him. I didn't need to work my body to his rhythm and fuck him back. I just needed to accept what he was doing to me. I relaxed my shoulders, sank back into his hold until he lowered my back onto the bed. I raised my hips, arching up to meet his vicious thrusts. They were over the line, the pain blurring and overpowering all sexual pleasure. The cries that fell from my lips were filled with hurt and my determination to meet his dark feelings, absorb them, take them away so that he would be free and at peace.  
His breaths were coming out in groans as he poured everything that he had into me, trying to get it all out. He'd been holding himself away from me, propped up on an arm as if he didn't want to get too close. Now he lowered his chest towards mine, his moans growing gruffer as he approached his release. I reached up and put my arms around him, surrounding him in my love and acceptance, scratching my nails down his back as I rocked my body into his thrusts, embracing all of the pain and wrath that he had to give me.  
He plunged into me one last time, deep and hard, and spilled his hot seed inside of me. Sobs broke from my lips. I was so grateful that it was over, so grateful that I'd been able to be strong enough to endure for him, so grateful that he'd trusted me.  
He collapsed on top of me, his breath ragged, his head resting between my breasts. He was trembling. From the exertion or because he'd just worked out a few of his demons, I didn't know which. I reached up to brush his sweat soaked hair away from his eyes and caress my fingers over his cheek. I was shocked by how much fury he had buried inside of him and I knew that it was probably only the tip of the iceberg.  
Trailing my hand down to his shoulder, I gave him a nudge to remind him that he was too heavy to lay on me for long. He rolled off of me, readjusting our bodies so that I was tucked against his side.  
"I feel like I should apologize," he said, his voice drowsy.  
"Don't," I said. "I said that I wanted it and I wasn't lying. I loved it, but I won't be able to fuck you all night. After that my body needs to recover."  
He made a noise in his throat in response, already nearly asleep. I rubbed my hand over his chest, thinking about the fact that he'd opened up to me and shown me something he'd kept hidden for so long. This was love then. Being able to trust each other enough to bring the dark places to light, to give love and not worry that we would be hurt or rejected. My body was battered, bruised, aching, stinging and burning, but I was floating on a bubble of happiness.  
He was always supporting me, helping me, tiptoeing around my issues. It felt good to help him. I could be of use to him. I could give as well as receive. I wasn't just a fuckup who needed a strong man to handle her. I was a strong woman who could handle whatever her man had to give. 


	5. Freedom

When I let myself into Soryu's apartment, everything was dark except for light spilling out of the dining room. I found him in there. He was typing away with papers spread out all over the large table, so focused that he hadn't even heard me approaching the room.  
I knocked lightly on the doorframe and watched as he spun around quickly, going on the defensive, thinking his territory had been invaded. He relaxed as soon as he saw me standing there, a smile curving his lips and glowing in his eyes. He held out an arm, motioning me towards him. "What are you doing here? I thought you said you were staying at your apartment tonight?"  
I moved close and he wrapped his arm around me, hugging me to his warm side. "You didn't hear? Olivia's at my apartment. She and Eisuke had some sort of huge fight."  
"Fuck." He went back into business mode, reaching for his phone to check for messages and missed calls. "No one's contacted me. How long ago was this?"  
"A few hours, but don't worry. I took care of it," I said, feeling proud and capable. "I hid in the bathroom and called Eisuke immediately. There are four guards outside my front door and ten surrounding the building."  
He stared down at his phone for a few seconds and I knew that he was contemplating calling Eisuke. But he relaxed and sat his phone back down on the table before looking up at me. "This is a hell of a time for her to be out of the penthouse. What are they fighting about?"  
"I have no idea. She won't tell me," I explained, shaking my head. "She just keeps attacking my couch cushions and screaming about how much she hates him. I figured she could use some space. I definitely don't want to listen to that all night."  
"What do you think will happen? Is she breaking up with him?" he asked.  
"It's hard to say since I don't know what's going on, but I don't think she'll actually leave him. I told Eisuke that she needs some time away. It'd be great if you could tell him the same thing. He doesn't take me seriously. But I think she'll wake up feeling better tomorrow morning and go back to the penthouse. Or maybe he'll go and drag her back," I said, reaching out to run my fingers through his hair. I didn't want to talk about Olivia and Eisuke anymore. I wanted him to put his hand up under my skirt.  
"I don't know about that. There's no telling what she's discovered. She could be in your apartment for a long while. I'll have to start planning for contingencies first thing tomorrow. You can stay here. I'll make sure you're well taken care of." He knew me oh so well. He'd already guessed what I wanted. His hand slipped under the hem of my skirt and slid up my thigh to massage my pussy through the thin silk of my panties.  
I stepped one foot to the side, opening my thighs to give him better access and pressed myself into his massaging fingers. "Do you have a lot of work to do?" I asked, glancing at the papers on the table.  
"Nothing that won't wait," he replied, his hand leaving my cunt to wrap around my waist and pull me closer. He wanted me to climb up onto his lap. I pushed back against his hand, standing my ground. He looked at me curiously with his dark eyes, they were smoldering with passion. The hand that had been tugging me towards him lowered to caress over my ass. "What do you want, Love?"  
I cupped his cheek and looked deeper into his eyes, trying to find the secrets that lay hidden within. Where was the rage he'd shown me the last time he tied me up? I hadn't seen the slightest hint of it since he'd unleashed it on me. If I was vulnerable to him again, would it rise to the surface and take over?  
"Take me to your bed and tie me up. I want you to dominate me." There were moments of quiet as he contemplated my words, his fingers motionless on my ass and the sound of my heart beating in my ears. I was breaking the rules. Asking for shibari, practically commanding it. Should I have played submissive and gotten on my knees to beg for it? If so, it was too late now.  
His hand moved to my stomach to gently push me back, making room for him to stand up. "Let's go."  
I breathed a silent sigh of satisfaction and took his hand to walk with him to his bedroom. When we were inside I pulled my sweater off and began unbuttoning my blouse. He was watching me as I moved, his eyes gliding over my body. I smiled at him, feeling the happiness and contentment that I always felt now when I was with him. The anxiety and worry had all but disappeared.  
"What do you want?" he asked, his voice husky with arousal.  
"Mmm. I'm not sure," I said. I tossed my blouse to the side and unhooked my bra, freeing my breasts to his gaze. "Something a little extreme? But I want to be able to watch your face."  
He gave a nod and stepped forward, his movements purposeful now that he had a goal. His hand moved up to pull his already loosened tie from around his neck. "Take off your clothes and prepare yourself. I want inside of you as soon as possible."  
I pushed my skirt, slip and panties over my hips and down my legs, stepping out of them to walk naked over to the bed. I sank down on the soft blanket and lay with my head propped on my hand, watching Soryu open the large black bag that he'd pulled from his closet.  
"What sort of toys are you hiding in there?" I asked as he pulled rolls of soft bondage ribbon from the bag.  
"A good dom never reveals his secrets," he said, smiling at me as he crossed to the bed.  
"Is that what they taught you in class?" I asked, reaching out to smooth my hand over his thigh, wishing his pants weren't in the way. "They could be wrong."  
He laughed as he reached for me, his hands caressing over my body, up my arms and down over my tits and stomach, stopping to spread my legs open and massage my thighs. "I doubt the experts are wrong. I think you need to learn more about patience and self control."  
"Mmm. Are you going to teach me? That sounds fun," I said, sighing with pleasure. His hands were massaging my thighs with force, working deep into the muscles. His movements stretched my skin, tugging at my pussy, sending tingles into my lower belly. I was relaxing and tensing up in all the right places, a delicious blend of opposing sensations.  
"You're not going to use ropes?" I asked, reaching out to stroke my fingers over the silky ribbons he'd dropped on the bed. I was feeling a little disappointed. The ribbons looked too nice, too soft and pretty. They spoke of gentleness, not intensity.  
"This is the proper tool for the job," he said, pushing my knees up to my chest and continuing the massage on the back of my thighs. "Besides, you have a habit of struggling against the ropes and chafing your skin. I don't like to see marks on you."  
"Is that why you never leave kiss marks or bite me?" I asked, sighing happily as his hands worked over my skin, wishing they'd move a few inches over and give some attention to my cunt.  
"I love you," he said. "You're precious to me. It's my job to protect you, not to harm you."  
The memory of him unleashing his hidden rage on me played highlights in my mind. There was a part of him that wanted to hurt me, a part that he kept contained at all times. A part that was nothing like his typical calm and caring personality. How guilty did he feel for letting go that time?  
"I like it when you hurt me as much as I like it when you're kind to me," I said. "I want all of you, the good and the bad. There's nothing you need to hold back when you're with me. I treasure the marks you put on my skin."  
"You've had enough pain in your life. I want to take it away, not add to it," he said, abandoning my legs to reach for the ribbon.  
The talk about pain was over. I knew how controlled he was, how determined he was to protect and care for the people in this life. He wouldn't willingly let his anger surface. I'd have to wait until his defenses were weakened and lure it out of him.  
He pushed my right leg back towards my head as far as it would go, and out, opening me up. "Give me your arm." Our conversation was over and his voice was now dark and commanding. I held my arm up to him and he crossed my arm over my leg, tucking my elbow into the back of my knee. He pressed my forearm against the outside of my calf and began binding them together, winding the ribbon from my wrist to my elbow.  
I liked the ribbon. It felt different from the rope, soft and comforting. The position was extreme, just like I'd asked for. "Are you doing this on both sides?" I asked.  
"Of course," he said.  
I was going to be immobilized and spread completely open. I shiver of excitement trembled through me. "I think I'm going to love this."  
"That's the idea," he replied, his eyes focused on his hands as he pushed my other leg up and repeated the process.  
I gazed down at my body, feeling heat filling me, watching it flush my skin pink. I was completely open and bared to him. I'd just had a full wax a couple of days before, the sight of my tits and the smooth lips of my pussy was a huge turn on. I couldn't wait for him to start touching me.  
Soryu pushed himself off the bed and moved to turn on both of the lamps on the nightstands. He crossed to turn off the overhead light and then began to take off his clothes, moving quick and quiet in the shadows of the room. His clothes hit the floor one by one, revealing his naked body to me, making my heart thump in anticipation. It was exciting just to look at him, his tall, muscled frame, his gorgeous face and his huge cock standing at attention.  
He came to me on the bed, his strong hands reaching out to caress over my splayed thighs. "You alright?" he asked.  
"Yes," I answered, feeling my skin tighten as my body begged for more of him. "_Touch me."_  
I regretted the demanding words as soon as they fell from my lips. I closed my eyes, waiting for him to tell me that he wouldn't touch me because I'd stepped out of line, but that didn't happen. Instead, his fingertips trailed over my stomach and he said, "Where?"  
"Start with my nipples," I said, breathing a sigh of relief, arching my back as much as I could in the restricted position, offering myself up to him.  
I moaned as he took my nipples and twirled them gently between his fingers and thumbs. Again I felt the tension and frustration drain out of me as pleasure began to fill me. His hands moved over my breasts, cupping, squeezing and kneading, while his fingers pinched and tugged at my nipples. He bent his head to nibble and suck teasingly over the curve of my tit before he bit and chewed the erect nub.  
His fingers and tongue drew gasps and moans from me until a groan of frustration escaped. "This is killing me," I complained. "The last couple of times, you had me facedown. When I can see you, I just want to touch you."  
His head dipped lower, his tongue playing over my ribcage. "Tell me where you want to touch," he said.  
"Your hair. I want to feel your hair between my fingers. I want to hold you close to me and scratch my fingernails down your back. I want to squeeze your ass and hold your cock in my hands." I groaned and arched upwards against my restraints. The movement was pathetically small. "I want to rub my fingers through your precum. I want to feel it and taste it."  
It was a mistake to tell him what I wanted to do. It only made things worse. I wanted to be strong enough to break through the silky ribbons that bound me, to free my hands and touch him all over, but I was helpless beneath him.  
He sat up and took his thick cock in his hand, swirling his thumb over the tip. "I love it when you touch me," he said and leaned forward to smear precum over my lips.  
The feel and the taste of it sent a charge of electricity through me, straight to my cunt. I bobbed my head up quickly, taking his thumb in my mouth and sucking on it, swirling my tongue over his warm skin as I stared into his eyes.  
He smiled and pulled his thumb away. "I'm going to take that as a promise to suck my cock later."  
"_Yes," _I said, my imagination running wild. "You could tie my hands behind my back and fuck my mouth."  
"Weren't you just complaining about not being able to touch me?" he asked playfully.  
"Oh, yeah. Let's save that idea for another time. I'm going to make good use of my hands once you let me go," I said with a laugh. "_Ooooh._ Maybe I should tie _you_ up."  
"Now that's something I never imagined," he said. "You'll have to give me some time to think about it."  
I started to pout, but he ran his fingertips around the edges of my pussy, completely distracting me from the topic. "You look so beautiful like this," he said, his fingers playing through my folds. "You're already soaking wet and your clit is swollen for me."  
He flicked my clit lightly and then massaged circles around it. I moaned, aching to move and push myself into his touch, but all that I could do was beg him for what I needed. "_Harder,"_ I cried. "_Harder and faster."_  
"Is this what you want?" he asked in a calm voice. His thumb rubbed over my clit, hard and fast just like I'd asked.  
"_Oh fuck yes," _I cried as an orgasm began to build within me. "_Just like that."_  
"Don't come," he said, his voice deceptively relaxed.  
"_W-What?"_ I asked, separating a part of my mind from the whirlpool of sensations building to my release.  
"Don't come unless I tell you to. If you do, I'll leave you here and go work on investments for an hour," he said matter-of-factly.  
My mind reeled in shock. No way would I be able to lie tied up on the bed for an hour. He was right when he said that I had no patience. "_Then stop doing that!"_ I shouted.  
His was still working on my clit, threatening to push me over the edge. "This?" he asked innocently, but his thumb sped up, rubbing harder on my clit.  
I cried out in frustration and panic as my body responded in kind, edging closer to an orgasm. "No!" I yelled, both to him and myself. A slideshow played out in my mind of the ways that I could prevent myself from coming. All of them involved using my arms and legs to push Soryu away. I tried to flee mentally, to hide from the sensations, hot and electric, that were building up behind my clit, but it seemed impossible.  
"Don't tell me no," he said. He bent low and replaced his thumb with his mouth. I screamed with frustration as he sucked my clit between his lips and stroked it with his tongue.  
I tried in vain to hold myself back. To hold my breath or think of sad things, but his tongue was relentless and the feelings increasing to a fever pitch inside of me were impossible to ignore or escape. He was rimming my entrance with his fingertips, ready do add a finger fuck to my torture, when I exploded. I orgasmed hard, everything that I'd been trying to hold back releasing in a flood of ecstasy.  
I didn't have time to savor it. He was already pushing himself off the bed and walking towards the closet. "You're really leaving? That's not fair! You _made _me come!" I accused.  
He took a robe out of the closet and slipped it on before turning to look at me. "It wouldn't make any sense if I told you not to orgasm and then stopped touching you," he said. "You need to learn patience and self control. I'll be back in twenty minutes. I know you won't last an hour."  
"_You bastard!"_ I yelled at his retreating back, angry because he'd made this happen and because he was right. My only answer was the closing of the bedroom door.

'_Twenty minutes. That's not long. I can wait twenty minutes.'_ I craned my head up, trying to get a look at the clock on the nightstand. It was 10:43. I began to play a game with myself. I'd wait ten minutes and then look back at the clock to see if I had guessed right.  
I thought about things that took ten minutes and imagine myself doing them. A quick shower - wash my hair, wash my body, rinse off. Scrambling eggs - put a pan on the stove to heat up, crack eggs into a bowl and whisk, melt butter in the pan and add the eggs, cook the eggs and put them on a plate. A hand of Texas Hold'em - everyone places their bets for the blind, deal the cards, the pre-flop betting round, deal the flop and do a round of bets, deal the turn and do a round of bets, deal the river and do a round of bets, enter the showdown and wait for the end of bets and establish the winner.  
Okay, I'd gone through all of that in my mind. Technically it should have taken thirty minutes. My twenty minutes were probably almost up. Soryu was probably even walking down the hallway. I looked at the clock. _10:46._ I stared in shock and disbelief. Seventeen minutes left.  
I'd been trying not to think about it, but my bound position was suddenly the only thing on my mind. _I couldn't move._ I wiggled my fingers and my toes. I rolled my wrists and ankles. I tensed and relaxed the muscles in my arms and legs. I tried to sing a song out loud to distract myself. My frustration soon killed my voice and the words died on my lips.  
My nose started itching. I groaned and wiggled it, trying to make the itch go away. It stayed. My scalp started itching along with my nose. I shook my head back and forth and up and down on the pillow, trying to scratch the itch. I tried to press my nose to my shoulder to rub my nose against it. It didn't reach since I couldn't move my shoulder up to meet my nose. I went a little crazy and shook my head fast, back and forth on the pillow. It didn't help the itch, but now locks of hair were lying on my face, sending the itching and irritation through the roof.  
I let out a low scream of frustration and raised my head to look at the clock, staring at it through strands of hair. _10:54. _Nine minutes. I could do this. I was over halfway there. Even though I felt like crying and screaming. I closed my eyes. Maybe I could try to sleep. I opened my eyes again. If he caught me sleeping, wouldn't he just say that I had to do the twenty minutes all over again?  
I thought about work. The midnight poker game had been shut down along with the underground auction until the Shin Aida problem was resolved. Hayashino, my assistant, and I were taking the time to come up with new ideas and streamlining procedures for when the game was reopened. Normally, I was bursting with ideas. Now all of my energy was focused on the ribbons that wrapped around my arms and legs.  
Maybe I could just stare at the ceiling. I looked up and sighed with disappointment. It was flat. There wasn't even a pattern made with spackle to try to find interesting shapes in.  
The door opened. I looked over at Soryu stepping into the room and said, "you're early" with a sigh of relief.  
"Just a few minutes," he said. "I haven't heard any screaming, so I figure you deserve it for being a good girl."  
"I wasn't even close to screaming," I said with a laugh, watching him return his robe to the closet.  
"Really? I expected you to shout demands for me to come back and release you," he said. "I think I might be disappointed."  
"I thought you were supposed to be _happy_ if I was a 'good girl'," I pointed out.  
"But if you'd been bad, I could have come back and punished you." He sat on the bed and reached for the ribbon on my right arm.  
"You're untying me?" I asked, surprised.  
"Aren't you going crazy?" he replied, unwinding the ribbon.  
"Yeah, I am. But I'm also wondering about what sort of punishment you would have given me if I'd been screaming," I said, sighing as the bonds loosened about my arm and leg.  
"I was thinking a ball gag, a blindfold, and some edging," he said.  
"Edging? Fuck no." I moaned as Soryu finished untying the first ribbon and gently guided my leg down to the bed. "I don't want any more orgasm denial tonight."  
Soryu moved around to the other side of the bed and began working on releasing my left side. "Well, that's why it would have been a punishment."  
"Why can't we stick with spanking? I like spanking so much," I said, slowly bending my freed arm and leg to work the stiffness out.  
He laughed. "That's why we can't do spanking. For you spanking isn't a punishment. It's a reward."  
"That doesn't seem very fair," I complained and then looked at him seriously. "Are you going to let me tie you up."  
"It doesn't really make sense," he said. "There's a dom and a sub and they don't switch roles."  
"Yeah, but we aren't really in a bdsm relationship," I argued. "We're just having fun. This is _our_ relationship. We can do whatever we want with it."  
"You want to spank me?" he asked.  
"I want to tie you up, spank you, sit on your face, suck your cock and tell you you aren't allowed to come." I smiled up at him as he finished unwinding the second ribbon and eased my leg down. "Doesn't that sound like fun."  
"Like I said, I'll think about it," he said. "I'm not sure you can be trusted once you get a paddle and some rope in your hands."  
"I wouldn't hurt you." I tried to look innocent. "Well, not too much."  
He laughed as his hands massaged over my thighs. "How do your arms and legs feel? Are you okay?"  
"They're about like you'd expect," I answered. "Stiff and half dead. They feel really tired."  
"Do you want to go to sleep?" he asked. "It's getting late and you've had a long day."  
"Are you kidding me? After all this I deserve to be fucked. I can barely move, so I'm going to be a total starfish. Climb on board and get to work," I said with a laugh.  
He straddled my thighs and hovered over me, looking into my eyes while he caressed his fingers over my cheek. "Are you really okay? Leaving you alone wasn't too much?"  
"It was torture," I responded. "I'm not sure I'm into orgasm training. It seems really hard. But if you let me start tying you up, I'll consider it a fair trade."  
"You're incorrigible," he said, and shut me up with a deep kiss.  
I met his tongue gladly, loving the taste of him and the feel of our tongues sliding against each other. I put in the extra effort it took to raise my arms up and wrap them around him, holding him close as the heat of his body sank into me and the pleasure of our kiss spread through me.  
He broke off the kiss and buried his face in my neck, licking and sucking at my skin.  
"Holding you is like holding happiness," I said, feeling my love for him rising to the surface of my skin, pressing against him.  
He rose up and looked down at me, his eyes burning bright. "I'm glad. Let's see how much happier I can make you."  
His hand slid between my legs and his fingers explored through my folds. "Are you ready, or is it too soon?"  
"I'm ready," I said. "I want you now."  
I let my arms fall back down to the bed as he shifted to set his cock at my entrance. They were tired and I didn't want to concentrate on keeping them around him. I wanted all of my attention to be on him moving inside of me. He began pushing in and I arched my hips up, taking him in faster, taking in more of him.  
I moaned as he filled me, stretching my walls, bumping against my cervix. My pussy had that particular feel you get with leftover arousal compounded with new. It made me breathless as I continued to heat up around him, the movement of his cock sending flares of pleasure all over my body.  
His hand cupped my breast, massaging it and playing his thumb over my nipple, increasing the flood of pleasure that was washing through me. I rocked my hips in rhythm with him as he fucked in and out of me, his hardness stroking past my walls, his tip bumping my cervix and making me cry out at the electric intensity of each thrust.  
I looked up at him as the path to release opened up in front of me. His face was distorted with pleasure and glistening with sweat. I watched emotions play through his eyes as I clenched around his shaft and met his thrusts, chasing the orgasm his every stroke promised. His hands gripped my hips and he began plunging into me deep and hard, wringing cries from my throat as tension and heat built up inside of me.  
I came, spasming around his cock, my body shaking on the bed. He followed moments later, filling me with his hot seed. Wrapping his arms around me, he rolled us over, moving carefully to keep himself buried inside of me. His lips pressed kisses into my hair.  
"A starfish isn't so bad," he murmured. "It's kind of nice when sex isn't a battle for supremacy."  
"Oh, is this how you like it? Maybe I'll start lying around all the time," I teased.  
He laughed. "Oh no. I want the real Sakiko back. Even if I have wrestle you to see who's on top."  
"No wrestling in the morning. It'll be my turn to be on top." I snuggled into him with a happy sigh, already imagining what I wanted to do to him and wondering how long it would take before he agreed to let me tie him up, but pushed myself away as a new thought crossed my mind.  
"Thank you for all of this. For taking classes and tying me up. For pushing me. I never knew that love would be like this. I always thought it was something that trapped you because it made you weak and dependent, but your love makes me feel strong. I feel connected to you - _so deeply_ \- in ways that I never imagined could be possible. I never would have found this if I hadn't met you, if you hadn't led me to it. I love you, Soryu. I love you with everything I am."  
His eyes glowed with emotion as he looked back at me. "I love you, too, and I never would have found love without you. I'm happy to push you and give you the things you need if it means you'll find some peace. I want to do everything I can to wash away the fear inside of you."  
I settled back against his shoulder, welcoming the contentment that seeped through me, wondering at the new feelings that were blossoming inside of me. I hadn't realized it before, but I'd been holding my breath, hesitating to move forward, waiting to see if my relationship with Soryu would really work out. It was working. It was better than working. It felt like a dream. I could relax now. I could rely on him and our love. I could reach for what I wanted, without worrying that my foundation would crumble beneath me.  
I'd made it clear to Soryu from the beginning that I needed to fuck other people, that I couldn't be part of a relationship with him unless it was open and he understood and accepted my needs. So far, I hadn't made a move to fuck anyone else. I'd told myself that it was because I was busy enjoying Soryu's body, that he was enough for the time being, but that had only been half true. I'd been afraid that our love wasn't strong enough, that I was too afraid to really commit and he didn't really love me enough to accept me. Now I knew that wasn't true. I could trust in our love. It wasn't a foundation, it was bedrock.  
I'd be able to spread my wings and do whatever I wished, knowing that his love supported me in everything that I did. 

_**Author's Note:_ _I feel the need to apologize for so many tied-up-sex-frojm-behind scenes in this short story. Especially after Olivia spent so many chapters in the same position in her short story. I really debated whether I needed to do it, but in the end I felt that Sakiko had to be in this position to symbolize what was going on in the story. Soryu is trying to satisfy her with more extreme sex so that she doesn't feel the need to sleep with others. Sakiko, however, is only focused on herself. So, she's always turned away from Soryu. Until the end, when Soryu's plan has succeeded in allowing Sakiko to get in touch with her love for him and feel more secure in their relationship, but has utterly failed at his true goal. Sakiko is now closer to sleeping with others, rather than further away. Her facing him as she's tied up marks the beginning of a new phase in their relationship. _


End file.
